momma mondays: baby button

Life has certainly thrown a lot at our family lately. A lot. Honestly, somedays it is more than I feel capable of handling. From the terrible twos to the passing of my father-in-law and everything in between. And then we found out that our sweet boy was not quite up to speed in his growth rate and that there were some complications to monitor. Normally, I would go into complete and utter panic mode. I am a worry wort to the core. I worry about things my kids will do in their teens. They are not even three yet. Not being hysterical with worry and anxiety is a complete miracle in and of itself. Of course I'm on the edge of my seat at each appointment for the latest news and I've left with tears in my eyes at a few of them, but all in all, St. Padre Pio is totally holding me up here with "Pray, Hope, and Don't Worry." He has been my lifeline through it all. 

I have been so weak and broken from losing my father-in-law and trying to help my husband deal with life without his dad, and then adding on the incredibly tiring days with our three little ones right now, that maybe all I can be is strong through this. But it has certainly been hard. I will continue to have bi-weekly appointments with two doctors up until "Button's" arrival. They will monitor the issue and at one of those appointments they will pretty much just tell me it's a go. I may have no warning as to when he is coming, whether it be this week or in four.

Chances are, even though his scheduled arrival date is supposed to be August 24th, he will be showing up even within the next few weeks. So if you all would, please do us a favor and pray that things don't continue to go downhill and that our littlest guy can stay inside as long as possible. We are gearing up for a long road and learning what life in the NICU will be like, but hopefully with all of the prayers, he won't need to spend as much time as I am preparing for. If any of you have experience with a preemie/NICU baby, please send any tips my way! 

So many people are so kind to us, asking how things are going already and if there is a way they can be updated along the way, so I created an Instagram account. I think it may be the easiest and quickest way for me to keep everyone updated. Feel free to follow along at @teambabybutton and #teambabybutton

We will know more in the days and weeks to come as to what life will be like and when he will be arriving and I will try to keep everyone as updated as I can there. And as for my blog... Oh, how I do hope to keep up with this some how and in some way. But please continue to be patient with me as we figure out what is next for us. 

I'm still here....

If y'all thought I disappeared or something, I didn't. I'm still here. I guess one could say I somewhat disappeared, but not permanently. I haven't posted since December, and my goodness have I missed my quiet time sharing thoughts with you. I have a good reason though. Actually, a very good one! The Hubs, boys and I took our Christmas trip for 2 weeks and while we were away I found out Baby #3 is on it's way! And yes, this time it is only one, which was actually hard for me to wrap my mind and heart around at first. I'm used to the thought now, and although I am open and grateful for all the babies God sends us, I am glad it will be one baby this time around. With the two little men still needing the full attention of their Momma, one baby will be a lot easier to care for while balancing life with toddlers! Now, this is short and pretty boring, but I wanted to share my news, let you know I am still here, and tell you I am working on scheduling in regular blogging time again. I can't promise it will be all that interesting; foggy brain syndrome is back in full swing in this Momma. But I want to keep writing anyway! I'll be back real soon! Don't go away!

Is There Such a Gift as Your Own Get Well Gift?

Is there a point where it can become acceptable to buy yourself a get well gift?

After having our boys, I have been back in the hospital for two more stays... and they aren't even two weeks old yet.

This isn't a pity party, just a pick-me-up.

A "you are in the clear, and are doing so well," kinda gift.

Are there such presents?

Probably not. But why not start the idea?! Someone should!

I love my Longchamp Le Pliage black tote and I carry it everywhere. Sometimes, if I am using a smaller purse for just a few things, like when going out to dinner, I still keep my daily needs (planner, sun glasses, a few cosmetics, etc) tucked away in there and leave it in the car or at least at home, ready for use again! It's the perfect size. It is okay to get banged around a bit too.

And a great feature, it can fold up so neatly and small that it is great for tucking away in your luggage. I did that one our honeymoon. I brought my small cute clutches for dinners out and such, and took out my Le Pliage for some daily outings in which I'd need a bit more storage space.

Now, while I was not planning on really carrying a purse with me, along with my diaper bag, I had the idea of having an easy to use purse, with my belongings (planner, keys, phone, etc.), that can be stashed inside there. This way my things don't get lost in the huge bag and I can take that out and have my purse all ready to go if I don't need to carrying my big bag for the boys.

I think that sounds rather doable. I just needed to think of the perfect bag to use. It cannot be heavy at all, or bulky, or else it would add way too much to the weight of their diaper bag and take up too much space. So... I think the best purse is the Le Pliage in navy... it matches their diaper bag too since the main color of that is navy. It's the same as my black one, (medium size with long handles), just in my fav. navy color!

Now, since I can't go shopping, I had to look online to see it's availability... It came up at Saks, which happens to be very close by to the hospital...and it is in stock (limited availability). I wonder if they deliver? hehe. But, before I could get through to that website, this came up:

 Do you think some of the other wives and moms here at the hospital may be thinking the exact same thing I am (wondering if they can be qualified to purchase a get well gift for themselves) and the husbands have gotten together to some how pull strings for this page to come up when any credit card could so easily be used?

Oh, all of this is just to humor myself while I sit here. I am serious about wanting this. But not serious in being able to get it for myself. I have received the greatest gifts ever (my boys) and no get well gift could compare to just being home with them... though this would be pretty nice!! I have to be up and about in the room a little more, but I thought I'd get some of my crazy thoughts out first so I don't trip over them!

Anyone in favor of this idea, raise your hand!

They're Back!

Let me start out by telling you, if I am posting a picture of my feet/toes, you have to know I am incredibly excited about them. I dislike my feet very much, and normally would be hiding them. This may be your only chance to see them... so take a good look! ha.

My ankles are back! Ever since I have been in the hospital and on medicine for my blood clot (That's in another post), my ankles have re-appeared! I am beyond excited! There is still some swelling, but my goodness, the difference is huge!

I will be thirty-five weeks this coming week, which means our boys are arriving in a hair over two weeks. Yes, just two weeks! Can you believe it? I certainly cannot. And I will be back in the hospital in 12-14 days from today. I have to be admitted early so they can switch the medicine for my blood clot so I can safely have a c-section.  

Please pray for me. I beg you for your prayers that all goes well these days leading up to the 28th, including the medicine switch.

The Adventure's of Room 319

Back on Sunday night, one week ago today, I had my normal swelling in my legs/feet, especially my right side. This was nothing new. I showed the doctor and she even felt as though it was just normal pregnancy swelling and told me to keep my legs up and reduce salt intake as much as possible. Okay, I followed directions and then on Sunday night I had an excruciating and long lingering charley horse. It made me cry and I couldn't move an inch. I didn't know what to do. After that I couldn't walk because of the pain and my calf (right side) was swollen quite a bit. I honestly thought the pain and swelling was from a pulled muscle that happened during the charley horse.

On Monday my parents came to visit and they saw my leg. They both separately asked if I thought it could have anything to do with a blood clot. I thought they were insane. Of course it has nothing to do with a blood clot! It's just swelling and pain from the charley horse and the normal swelling. That is what I thought at least. Later that evening, around 9, they mentioned it again. And again, I thought they were crazy. I don't have a blood clot. My leg is not red, hot, nothing besides these normal symptoms. 

Well, to just appease them, I spoke with my father-in-law, who is a doctor and just asked what the symptoms were and told him what I was experiencing. Little did I know, he would right away send me to the ER. He said, "Mare, have someone take you to the ER right away. It could be a blood clot." I said to him, "Papi, are you serious? You honestly think I could have a blood clot and I have to go to the ER? Are you sure?!" So, off my parents, Mono, and I went around 9:15 to Labor and Delivery (I called ahead there and they said come in to just be sure). 

 

My monitors... yes I was contracting too. 

Loved all my bracelets! Quite the collection, huh!? The orange one was my Austin bracelet... I chose to keep that in the collection, the rest were mandatory.

 

To make a long story short, if that is even possible for me to do, they really didn't think I had a clot. They thought the pain was from a muscle pull and the swelling as well. But they ordered an ultrasound to check my leg for a clot. The tech came in and she started at the very top of my leg, pressed down really hard and went down to my ankle to check to see what was up. She was friendly, but then as she was doing the u/s, she stopped chatting and then said, "Someone will be right back." Then the nurse came in and said, "Did she say anything to you?" And I said that she hadn't. Apparently, she walked out to the nurses station and had an awful look on her face and that is when the nurse came in to talk to me... She told me that I have a blood clot that runs the length of my entire right leg. Then she began to tell me I cannot put any pressure on my right leg at all and I'd be admitted into the hospital. So they wheeled my bed into my room, #319 - my birthday (March 19th!) and they had to kind of roll me onto the other bed. I couldn't even get off my bed to the other. I was immediately put on medicine so the clot would not break off at all or get any larger. At this point, it was quite late. I was all hooked up to monitors, as were each of the boys, I had my IV in with everything that I needed to be getting and when things were settled, around 1:30, Mom and Mono went home. Dad stayed with me that night. Mono couldn't because he had to be at work really early and needed his clothes and all. He came for a quick visit though during the day the next day to see how I was during his lunch break. And then he spent the rest of the nights with me and Mom and Dad went home for the night. They came back in the morning when Mono had to be at work and then Mono came back for lunch and then after work.

 

Fun times in room 319! That picture of me not fully in bed rest, is when I was leaving.

 

Besides Mono and my parents visiting, I had a few friends stop by and a few priests we are friendly with. Everyone was so kind to spend time with me during my stay at the hospital. Everyone brought some sort of goody or another. MUCH better than the yucky hospital food.

I stayed there until Thursday and was discharged that afternoon. I was beyond happy! Now that I am home, I am on strict bed rest, only being allowed up for the bathroom and an occasional shower. I have to give myself my own shots twice a day and take the other medicine they sent me home on. Bed rest stinks, especially with the even bigger stomach that I have grown, but if it is going to help me and also help keep the boys inside, I'll do whatever I have to do! Mono has been good about helping me in the evenings when he gets home from work and my parents will be back tomorrow to help me during the day. Good thing I got what I did done for the boys' arrival!!

 

 I had an IV with two bags (one fluid, one medicine - only one pictured) in one arm and a zillion needle pokes from all the blood I needed drawn in the other.

So that was the 34th week excitement! Do you think that is enough to last the next couple weeks? I surely hope so!

I've gained more weight, but they think a lot of it was fluid from all that I was getting through the IV. So we will see tomorrow when I go back for a check up how much I actually have gained. My stomach has definitely gotten bigger and the boys are moving around, slowly, but I feel it a lot more. They are loving pressing into my ribs and jabbing my back and leaning on every organ they can find, poking out my stomach as much as they possibly can. I think they are just ready to come out... and I'm ready for them to come out... but not until the 28th! Their movement hasn't hurt until recently and my goodness, does it hurt! Maybe it's worse with two of them, or maybe I am just a big wuss. It's probably the later. haha. 

 

Yucky hospital food. I ate what I could from each meal, but I told them a few times not to bring me anything... and then my parents brought in real food!

I don't have all that much else to say for this week. It was eventful, yet uneventful with all the bed rest. They boys say hello. They're trying to pop out... always worse at night! 

I'll update you for week 35!

Hello August!

Hello August. Hello Lilly. Hello month that our boys arrive!

Can you believe it is already August 1st? Kids are getting ready to head back to school. Highschool grads are preparing to venture off to college. Cooler weather is heading our way... well not here in the south. We still have a while before the cool days of the fall are upon us. New agenda/planners are cracked open for the first time, waiting to be filled in with fun events... and probably lots and lots of daily tasks. Aaannnnndddd.... August 1st also leads us into the month of our little men!

 I'm big on planners. Big. They have to be just so though. My new Lilly planner has been sitting around tucked away in a drawer so I wouldn't fuss with it too much before August arrived, and now, today this beauty came out to play! Even though it is not laid out exactly like I prefer, I could not resist how happy it looks every single month! It is like a piece of summer happiness and my love of the beach year round. This will surely get me through the cold, long months of the winter... or just make me miss the beach even more!

 I have to keep a little clip of my notes on the open week because I can't fit everything in the selected date's slot. I also have other important notes that I have to keep on hand, so I clip them together in the current week so I do not misplace them or forget. 

When I first found out I was pregnant, September was going to be the highly anticipated month for our boys' to come. As times has passed, as they and I have grown, they will now be making their grand entrance at the end of this month. Yes, this month! Crazy to think about. Within a few weeks, I will have two babies in my arms!

I haven't been nervous at all... until now. Now the nerves have begun to set it a bit. I'm getting anxious, I'm getting more uncomfortable, more ready to be done with this huge belly and have my boys here with me. I worry. That's not new news if you know me. So of course I have a few of the big "what ifs" fluttering around in my mind. I am just ready to be done with the wait of these next few weeks, done with the c-section and get on with life with our two little men!

I welcome you with a big smile, August. This will forever be a good month in our family! I can't wait to be able to fill out Baby A and Baby B's birthday on this month's page in my Lilly agenda... and all my other calendars!

It's Like Waiting For Santa!

I feel like I am waiting for Santa to come!

Not because of presents, but due to the excitement of my soon-to-be guests!

My sweet friend, Jilly, is coming along with... drum roll please... Katie Bubbles!

Katie is her oh-so-adorable, squishy, cuddly dog.

Also known as Jimmy's girl crush!

J is staying with my parents for a few days, but will certainly be here for part of Katie's stay so they can have some fun times together!

I'm not sure how much blogging I will be doing while Jilly is here, but I really hope to have some fun stories and pictures to share after the visit.

Thankfully she is more like family than a friend because today is my hardest day yet. I think I am struggling the most with being pregnant today than any day so far (besides the whole morning sickness thing). She is the super clean, super chef, super friend, and she is going to see my reality these days! Oh, and the anxiety of making dinner for someone who actually got paid to be someone's cook? Yikes!!

She is going to see our home just like it always is... Clean, but not scrubbed. I had all intention for making today my scrubbing day, cleaning everything perfectly, so it would be just right for her arrival, but I can barely do a thing.

I loaded my first load of wash. Sat down.

Unloaded the dishwasher, then sat down.

Re-loaded the dishwasher, and again, sat down.

Vacuumed our bedroom... yes, I then sat down.

Vacuumed our bathroom... sat down.

And now I am sitting down, blogging, and will shortly get up to switch loads of wash, to then go back and sit down.

The girls will be here in about two and a half hours and I know I won't get everything on my list accomplished.

She is getting finger prints and dust bunnies.
Dirty windows and a full garbage can. 
Unmopped floors and smudges on our fridge.

I have a few things to bring upstairs and get ready for their visit, and I have to vacuum the den.

There will be no dusting, but I thought that would be nice. She can leave her autograph in the dust. ;)

How does a house get so dusty so fast?! I just dusted a few days ago.

I just scrubbed a week ago.

It seems like some things need to be done daily, or else it sneaks up on you!

So, my clean, yet unclean little home, along with one very pregnant, tired momma, are waiting for Jilly and Katie's arrival!

Here's to a fun week ahead! Dust, swollen feet, and all!!

Note: Our house isn't disgustingly dirty. Please don't think that! It's just not in tip-top shape! ;)

Leftovers: Thoughts and Food

We're having leftovers again tonight.

I'm not a big fan of them. I don't mind eating them, but I feel like I've failed in making a delicious, freshly cooked meal on the nights we eat re-heated food from the refrigerator.

With only about 6 weeks to go before our boys are born, I am getting tired quicker, my back hurts more, and my swollen feet increase by the minute when I stand.

Thus, nightly home cooked meals are a bit few and far between.

With the amount of swelling in my legs/feet, I have to lower and watch my salt.

I'm not one that cooks with a lot of it, nor do I add much to my food after the fact, but there is a lot of pre-made ingredients that have it. So cooking for me has become quite the chore.

Last night I made a fresh batch of spaghetti sauce, which then caused a night (and into this afternoon) full of extra heartburn, so I am not sure what to do about this evening's dinner.

A bit of my leftover thoughts...

Last week we had such a lovely visit with family (from Mono's side). Mami, Bello, and Bella came and stayed for about 10 days or so. We were so pleased to have them here and keep them as long as we did!! Family visits are always so great, and never long enough. The crazy thing about this visit was it is the last one before our little men arrive! Next time we see them, the boys will either be just about to make their grand entrance into the family or it will be at their Baptism shortly after... it all depends on when family can arrive. It truly blows my mind to think of that! 

Only 6 more weeks to go being a family of two three (sorry Jimmy). Soon there will be five of us! Mono, Marezy, Jimmy and the two little men... who still don't have set names!

I need order, formality, cleanliness... I'm not the neatest person. I'm not OCD clean or anything like that, but I am seeing more and more how I need to have things in the places they belong, not have a million things out, etc... I am sure a lot of that has come with living with my husband these past 9 and a half months! He is so neat, so clean, and so orderly! Sometimes it drives me up a wall, but I am honestly very grateful to be married to someone that truly likes to take care of his and our things. A lot of guys are not as neat as him, in fact, maybe even slobs, so I have a lot to be thankful for! He is rubbing off on me more and more. Sometimes it makes me wish I had more money to spend on little organization projects, decorating a little differently with better furniture to be more functional, but for now, we are blessed, happy.... and clean!

Yesterday, only 9 or so months later, I finally finished our honeymoon album! About two years ago I had purchased a Groupon for an album/photobook company that I had planned on saving for something important... like our wedding or honeymoon. We will have an album from our photographer for our wedding, so for now, I thought it would be best to have an nice book to treasure our photos in. I've never made a book before and had quite the frustrating moments, but thankfully Mono is quite the computer man and was able to find quick fixes for me. It made me realize even more how I am far from being able to use photoshop! ha. I can't wait for it to get here, and I am praying hard that there are no errors in it. It will be so nice to have it in our little collection of coffee table books in our den!

While Mono's family was here and we were together, my parents were up in New York with all of my Mom's side of the family for a big celebration. It was really hard on me not being there. Not only did I miss celebration number one being my baby shower, but I was missing number two as well! I'm dying to get away, even for a day to the beach, much less a whole visit with family up north, but thankfully my Dad had it set up that I could be on either Skype or Facetime quite a bit during their party! It was great to see everyone and be as much a part of the day as possible! They were celebrating birthdays, graduations, new jobs, engagements... the whole works! At one point my cousin got me aka the iPad a chair so I could sit there and everyone could see me while we chatted. It was quite amusing. As much as I love living here in the south, I miss family. I wish it were easier for them to travel down here to visit. I'd love to show them around, have them stay for a while in our home, take them to our favorite vacation spot on the Gulf... But for now, and until the boys are old enough to travel up there, we're going to have to make do with chatting via a webcam.

A pregnancy update for all of you:

I'm 31 weeks, leaving only about 6 weeks to go according to my doctor!

So hard to believe that it was at this stage of the game in the beginning that I told my family I was pregnant - 6 weeks along with many more to go. Now I only have 6 to go before our cuties are cuddled and safe in our home with us!

At our last visit I gained more weight, which is a good thing of course, but the number keeps inchin' on up there! It's all in my stomach which everyone says is good and the boys are quite the big guys already so maybe that adds to the number on the scale!

One little man moves more than his brother, which makes me a tad on the nervous side. I wish I could feel them both move the same amount. And some times I can't tell which boy it is that is doing the moving. It does seem like it is all coming from Baby A (the lower one).

My right foot/leg is still like a gorilla. I am keeping it up, trying to stay off of it as much as possible and reducing any salt I can. Hopefully it won't get too much worse because I am only able to pretty much fit into one shoe... my Havianna flip flops!

The past few nights (besides last night) I had actually gotten a better night's rest than I have been getting. It's still certainly no way near great, but there was an improvement that I was more than happy to welcome!

When our family was here, each morning Bella saw me she'd say she thought my stomach grew since the night before... and I think she may be right! My tummy is growing by the minute it seems! I have no idea how I am going to even last the 6 or so weeks that are left! Can my skin stretch that much!?

The boys may still be somewhat nameless, but their room is ready... for the most part! They won't be in it for a while, but it is still ready for their arrival! Cribs are up, dresser is cleaned and filled, initial clothes and some random things are in our room. We still have to hang a few things in their room, set up their changing table and work on making sure our room has everything needed in it to be ready for them to join the crowd!

 30 week bumps

I'm not nesting yet... not sure if I even will. I told Mono that I think I am too fat to nest. haha. I keep my house as clean as I am capable to, I have projects done that I wanted done... It will be interesting to see if it creeps up on me between now and the end of August. I have a few things I need to look for and do before they come, but nothing too major... well, all but one thing isn't major.

The wall above our fireplace looks quite lonely. Ever since we moved in, I have put off painting something to hang there. I know once our little guys are here, there will be no painting in my schedule for quite some time, so I am going to attempt painting and finishing something to hang there in a frame.

I am very critical of myself when it comes to paintings I do and I am known to get nearly all the way through one, hate it and not be satisfied and just throw in in the bottom of a closet somewhere to collect dust and never finish. I am really praying that that does not happen with this one. I hope I can be content in my work enough that we can frame and hang it within the next few weeks. We shall see!

Last but not least in my update for you, my sweet friend is coming to visit, along with Jimmy's sweet girlfriend (her dog). I am really looking forward to having them in our home for a few days!! I wish I was a little bit more capable of having things just right for her visit, but she will totally understand if there is a little dust or not a ton of home-cooked meals. It will be so nice to have time to chat, catch up on all her latest goings on in life, relax and do a few fun things together! I am sure I will post about her visit once it happens!

Why Do I Complain?

Oh, it is such a beautiful morning outside! In the low 70's, with the warm sun, and a slight breeze. The birds are chirping and the breeze is swaying our wind chimes so they sing to me!

I was out earlier with Jimmy and was wishing I could have stayed out for a longer period of time.

If my computer wasn't in need of being plugged in for charging (I had it in bed in the wee hours of the morning when I couldn't sleep so it ran out of battery), I'd be sitting out there while I blog.

All is quiet in the house right now and I have Jimmy sitting right beside my gorilla foot as I write.

I'd take a picture of that foot of mine for a pregnancy update, but I don't want to scare anyone. It's not such a pretty sight. Even though having only one foot swollen makes me look lopsided, I am glad it is just one and not both. At least I still have one semi-nice looking ankle left... for now.

Mami, Bello, and Bella are visiting us for a while and we have really been enjoying their stay. It is always so, so nice to have family here visiting. Lots of house projects have been going on, and will probably continue through their visit. Bello seems to know how to do a bit of everything and we have gotten things in great need of fixing, done and like new! But for now, everyone is asleep, and it is just me and the J.

I'm 30 weeks today, which really excites me! That means the boys arrival will be here somewhat soon! I think it really just hit me, like really hit me, that life will be forever changed and we will have two little guys here with us. I knew life would change and I knew they'd be coming, both things I am excited for and looking forward to, but it hadn't really hit me up until now.

I had my first dream of them last night and I loved it. I can't fully remember the details, but it went from when they were first born until maybe they were about 1-2 months old and we went to visit Mono at work. I loved those little guys so much in my dream, so I cannot even imagine how much I will love the real thing! 

I go back to the doctor on Thursday and we will find out how big the boys are! I am really looking forward to that. I want to see if they are still quite a bit ahead of the growing schedule. 

I am also curious to see how much weight I have gained. Mono thinks my belly gets bigger each and every day. I think he may be right.

Thankfully besides my gorilla foot, most all of the weight has gone to my stomach. I have a feeling with one and a half to two months left, I am going to reach quite the number on the scale! haha. I'm not too worried. In time, I'll get somewhat back to normal... hopefully.

So far you're not seeing where the title of this post had anything to do with what I am writing, but now you'll see.

Do you ever find yourself complaining (even if it is just to yourself) about things in life that are really not that bad, but know of others who really have something to complain about?

I have found myself doing that, not just while being pregnant, but it comes out even more now.

I'm huge. I'm incredibly uncomfortable at times, my back and hip are killing me, I can't sleep a wink, heart burn... the list goes on. But why do I moan to myself about those things when within a few weeks, it will all be worth it to have our boys with us.

But even still... even if this wasn't coming to an end. So what! Big deal my hip hurts. Big deal I have heart burn. 

In the past 3-4 weeks or so, our really good friend had a serious accident, leaving him nearly fully paralyzed and he fights back with all of his strength each day to recover... He has something to complain about.
I know of a young man in the military, who was recently married, only about 24 years old, that was overseas for a mere 3 days before being killed in the line of duty... His family has something to complain about.

A young wife and mother of 3, losing her horrible battle to cancer... Her husband, children, and family have something to complain about.

A young man, around 30 or so, again, losing his battle to cancer... His family and friends have something to complain about.

People diagnosed with horrible sicknesses... They have something to complain about.

It goes on and on.

But me? Why am I complaining, when my "ailments" are so petty and so temporary?

I have to remember what people are going through before I complain and moan about how hard it is to turn over at night.

How ridiculous of me! 

Just one more thing to add to my very long list of my incredible weaknesses!

The 27 Week Update

As I sit here, looking over my never ending to-do list, having done not much at all yet, I am already for my nap. I wake up exhausted, just dreaming of the time in the afternoon that is designated for nap time. I had no idea I could sleep worse than I already did pre-pregnancy and I had no idea I could be so tired. But here I am, looking and feeling sleepier than ever, knowing I have so much to do. Things I must get done and things I want to get done. Most likely, I have about two months left. I've taken no classes, hardly read any books or watched any videos. I was talking to my sister-in-law earlier and it really made me realize I have to get all my lists checked off and get prepared for the arrival of these boys! 

I'm just about dying here. I've realized that I am craving certain smells... weird smells that I am not able to find frequently to relieve the craving.

Air conditioners when they first start, either in the car or in a room with a window unit.

Garages and kinda musty smells.

When I was at my parents over the weekend, I wanted to sit in their garage and soak in the glorious smell.

When I am in Costco, I want to sit at the table closest to the tire department.

Any smell that is weird and musty, garage-y, anything!

I sit on my couch, just wishing I could drive to Costco and bounce between their garage where they are fixing cars to their tire section.

It makes me miserable wanting to smell this stuff!

I'm also wanting to always chew ice... and no, I'm not anemic. I like when it is light, small, and airy so it isn't so hard on my teeth. But whenever I have a drink, I chew every single piece of ice in the cup. The poor people around me. I must be soooo annoying and rude.

So the cravings have begun, but not in the form of food.

I guess that is kind of a good thing. Good for my size at least.

As long as I have my Tums around, I can get through the heart burn, to a degree.

I'm now down to even less clothes. The tank tops that go under my shirts to help keep my tummy from popping out for all to see, are now too small. They allow a little peek to my belly. Not fun. And my dresses, they're all sleeveless which is fine for the day, but when I head over to Church, I need to wear a sweater and I am HOT!

I still really want to run, even though I have no energy.

I saw a lady with the cutest teal Nike sneaks with a pink Nike symbol and wanted to steal them off her feet and go for a run! I wish I could find them for after the boys are born.

 

I went to the doctor last week and the boys are weighing in at 2 lbs 3 ozs and 2 1/2 lbs! They're healthy and definitely growing!! I hope they stay cozy inside and keep on growing, but I really cannot wait to meet them and hold them in my arms! It is really hard to believe in about two months our boys will be here! I have a feeling these two months are going to go by faster than I realize. It's already almost July!

The baby on the bottom, who is the bigger one, moves around a lot!  You should see my stomach when he rolls around in there. Crazy, but fun to watch! Baby B, who is on top, is apparently kicking his brother instead of me, which is why I don't feel him move quite as much. Yesterday in the afternoon, they were both moving around so much. I finally got my camera to try to capture some of their crazy adventures, but they must have known the camera was out because they stopped their big movements. I'll continue working on getting some good videos of it. And then I will figure how to post in on here.

I will post again soon, as I am closer to 28 weeks, than 27!

Pregnancy Update

I'm twenty-six weeks today!

I've grown a lot. My belly is bigger now than my best friend was at full term.

How's that for ya!?

And yes, I still have a few months to go.

God help me!

I'm dying to run. I really want to be able to run again. And who knows when I will be able to.

Obviously I have to wait until after the boys are born and a bit after too. And even after that, who knows when I will have time! I would like to run a half as you may know from previous posts, but that is going to take a long time in training for. Until then, I think I will have to stick to 5ks. Here is one I've been wanting to do for a while...

Actually, ever since August of last year, when Meg over at Whatever (a blog I follow) wrote this post, I've wanted to find a way to be covered in brightly colored chalk!

Shortly after I heard about The Color Run.

They have these 5k's all across the country, including near my home!

This year, the one near us is on Labor Day... well it really might be labor day for me since I am due in September.

So that obviously cuts out this years Color Run. Hopefully next year!!

But I will be running as soon as I can, when I can. 

Still no cravings. I'm wondering if I will get them at all.

My mood is okay... I guess.

I've only cried twice, or maybe three times. haha And usually, it's at night, when I am overly tired and can't sleep.

I get down and feel sluggish because I am not able to do much. I don't feel creative, though I have a million ideas. I just don't have the oomph to do any of it. I don't want to regret not doing things to prepare for the boys though, creatively.

I really should start thinking ahead of things that I want to do in the upcoming months after they are born, and get that all ready to do.

Any creative ideas you did when your children were first born? For pictures, for memories?

Heartburn. Actually, it should be HEARTBURN. Yes, much better.

I could literally be fine, heartburn-free and happy, and then I have a glass of water, just a glass of water, and heartburn is in complete, full swing! What the heck is that about!? Water!!

Tums has has to become my friend before bed. I try not to have to take anything for my symptoms during pregnancy (morning sickness, headaches, heartburn), but I've had to take Tylenol a couple times for terrible head aches and now Tums in the evening so I can get a few minutes of shut eye.

Sleep? What's that? I guess I am getting prepared for some sleepless nights. I take naps during the day though. Usually a little after lunch, I lay on the couch, put the tv on and the fan, and fall asleep for a little while. Sometimes it is just half and hour, but I think when Mami was here, I took a few longer naps, 1-2 hours even.

They boys are definitely moving around. Not all day, every day, but they are certainly a bit active. One more so than the other. Since they move around a little bit in there, I can't always tell which one is the one moving or kicking, but it seems like Baby A is the mover.

We're still not 100% on baby names. Yikes. I know that's okay and we still have time, but I would surely like to have their names set in stone.

I'm dying for the beach, for a pool, for nice, blue water! I want sand, salty air, and palm trees, but none of that is going to come my way. There is no traveling for me from now until the boys arrive. All of my summer plans went out the window and plopped in those plans are my couch.

I was really bummed when I found out I couldn't have any beach time this summer. If you know me, I live for the beach! I think my aunt's pool is going to have to do! Maybe even this weekend.

Even with some of these a little less than wonderful symptoms that come along with being pregnant, I am incredibly excited for our boys to arrive! I love going in their room, seeing all their cute clothes hanging in the closet. To be honest, I didn't think I'd have as much fun picking out boy clothes, but it could be even better! The clothes out there for boys are so cute! At least the ones we've received and I've come upon while shopping.

Well, that is my update for you today. Excuse the hair in all of my pictures that I post. As soon as the boys are born, something has to be done to it. The color and everything is just out of control right now!

And also, excuse the clothes. I had a small pregnancy wardrobe to start with, but now I am very quickly growing out of shirts to wear. I think I can only count on one hand at this point (not including tanks like this black one that I normally just wear under my shirts).

 

Oh You're So Cute!

Oh, you're so cute!

That's what I think when I see our boys. 

Apparently, that's what other people think when they see me.

We had an appointment with the doctor on Thursday (glucose test, blood tests, finger pricks, ultrasound, check-up) - all was well, thank God! - and they surprised us with some 4D images. And boy were they so cute!

Yesterday (6.4) Mami and I went shopping looking at Saks. I think at least four people stopped me and every.single.one of them said, "oh you're so cute!"

Then, when I told them I was having twins, it was the normal reaction of excitement.
But by my size, a few of them were quite surprised that I still have three months to go!
One lady thought I only had something like two weeks! ha. Wishful thinking! I have a lot of growing to go still!

And then there is someone I've known since I was 13 and he said, "You look like you're ready to head to the hospital." And I told him I still had 3 months, and again, a shocked look from him.

One good thing though, so far, people that know me think that I am losing weight elsewhere (face, legs, arms, fingers) and just gaining in my stomach. I'm pretty happy to hear that when people tell me!

I will have to take a profile picture for you and include in an upcoming post.

What will they think?

God lover.
Cupcake eater.

Purse addict.

Accessory lover.

Chick flick sap.

Martha follower.

Photo snapper.

Blog and magazine reader.
 Shopping lover.
Music listener.

Athletically disabled.

Soft and cuddly lover.

What will they think of me?

My twin boys, that is.

God lover.

Lego expert.

Redskins die hard.

All things basketball, football, sports.
Video game player.

Sleep in lover.

Computer pro.

Fabulous swimmer.

Batman fan.
Burger and fry eater.
Milkshake drinker.
Old cartoon watcher.

That's their Dad. I know what they will think of him.

They are going to look to him with complete love and admiration.
He is going to be such a great Dad, not only raising them well, but always being there for them to talk and listen, to play games, watch their favorite shows, go to their sporting events, teach them new things... the list is endless.
He will be wonderful with them and the mutual love will be unending.

What I do know is they will both be welcomed with many open arms in this loving family of ours. But between Mono and I, they will be born into a God-loving, high-moral, fun, creative, loving family.

I may not know a whole lot about boys. And I may have a past of shrieking and running faster than anyone thought I was capable of, from bugs, snakes and frogs, that little boys have brought me, but I do know, that I can take my loves and interests and turn them into a wonderful life for two little boys.
I have a lot to learn, turning my likes into little boys likes, but I am really looking forward to two little cuties running around this house! I can't wait for our little men to arrive! Not too much longer.

A Worrisome Momma

I'm a worrier. I know I shouldn't be. I should have more trust in Him. I know He always has my back and is there to guide me through every single situation... The hard times and the amazingly beautiful ones. Why don't I trust? Could it be because even though I know His plans are always better, sometimes they are hard to accept? Is that where my worries come in? I'm not afraid that He won't be there or take care of me. I know my strengths and lack of them and I know I can be really weak. I find myself worrying about my little boys. Between yesterday and this morning I have not felt the boys as active as I normally have. They're never that active, but still, I thought I should feel them a little more. I looked it up online and it says that at this point in my pregnancy it is okay if I go a day or two without feeling them move a lot. I think I've felt little twitchy feelings, but not the more obvious ones. I am going to try to pay really close attention. But it makes me worry, what if they're not okay? But I am also trying to remember to trust God that He's watching over these babies and not to freak out, until I actually need to. I worried a lot on Mother's Day and now my worries came back. I am sure there are going to be a lot of moments that I may feel the need to worry about, but I am going to do my best to give my moments I'd like to worry to God. Especially with two boys coming into our lives, I know they are going to bring worries to their Momma. I can't be stupid either and ignore possible signs that the boys may need to be checked up on at the doctor either though. I am hoping tomorrow brings lots of kicks and little movements before I do anything! Move around boys, move!

Bed Rest CAN Be A Good Thing...I Guess

There is a sale going on this weekend at one of my favorite stores... 

The Coach Outlet.

It's right by my house too.

I don't have to make much of an effort getting there.

Not only is there a sale going on, but there is this purse that I am in love with really like... and a matching wristlet.

I know my days of carrying a purse won't be as frequent as they are now once the boys come, but I will forever love and use my bags! 

My Matron of Honor even mentioned it in her speech at our wedding, how much I love purses and wallets.

So now everyone knows my addiction love.

I'm also in desperate need of some beach time.

We were supposed to be leaving for a really, really nice, long beach vacation tomorrow, but with this whole bed rest and no traveling thing, that was quickly cancelled.

This tote/purse combines a few of my favorite things...

1. it's a purse!

2. the whole beachy look to it

3. the colors, neutrals, with a hint of teal and sandy color from the star fish, trimmed in a pretty silvery gray leather

4. water color painting

It's perfection if you ask me.

If it weren't Coach, but Target instead, I'd be awfully tempted to buy both versions. There is a teal (my favorite) and a coral color.

So the reason bed rest is a good thing is I am not allowed to drive even the measly couple miles it is over to this wonderful store. I can't even go drive to see it. So the bed rest keeps my temptation of buying it on hold. 

There's no occasion coming up either to ask for it or to put it on a wish list. My birthday passed and is not coming again for another ten months. Christmas is still seven months away and totally the wrong time of year for a starfish purse! My Santo (Saint's Day) is two months away, but Santo's don't come with gifts such as Coach bags. I already have a diaper bag (and this would be too small anyway)... See, no good reason for me to even try to talk someone into buying me another bag.

So, thank God, I'm on bed rest, but it is an awful torture.

Oh, and did I mention, I have a coupon too!?

Are there any fave's of yours that you really wish you could purchase?

Aren't they lovely? The have that casual beach day look.

While I'm talking about bed rest keeping me from shopping, there are two necklaces I want to make.

Unfortunately, I forget where these pictures were found... If anyone knows, I'd happily give credit to them!

In the first picture, I love the chunky, but not too chunky look with the green and teal combo, with an added touch of metallic beads.

 And here in the second, I am loving red and orange together, but don't think I could pull it off in an actual outfit (plus I don't currently own either color in my wardrobe). I love that there is a little pink added and some gold as well. The craft stores really are calling my name, don't you think? A lot of their jewelry making is on sale this week too.

Back to the couch!

Pregnancy Update

Excuse the tired look and blah hair styles. I really need to figure out what else I can do with my bangs!

I spent my 22 week mark in the hospital, but I was thrilled to still be making it to 22 weeks, especially after the whole Mother's Day fright.

This is my bump, just a few days over 22 weeks. I didn't think a picture in my hospital gown would be nice on the eyes.

Besides being on bed rest, I will give you my update on how I've been feeling with new things going on.

Heartburn, heartburn, heartburn!

Lots of movement going on with the boys.

One is more active than the other for sure, but you can feel both of them quite frequently.

Still no cravings.

Doing well with most food.

Vitamins stay settled in me.

Getting harder to move around and sit comfortably.

Still nameless.

Room is set up (not accessorized yet - that's the best part!) and ready to be painted!

Twenty three weeks today! Yayyy! The boys' room is also being painted today... not by me, but by my family! I can't wait to show you the progress.

The Mood You Choose To Be In

I'm thinking of some wise words from Papi today (my father-in-law).

There's a switch. You just flip it on and be in a better mood.

I realized I can at least try to control my mood.

The past few days I've been in a bit of a funk, a down mood.

I'll give you a little bit of the history leading up to this current feeling that has come over me.

Rewind back to one week ago today, Saturday. 

Mono and I were spending the weekend at my parents to be with my Mom for Mother's Day. 

We drove up Saturday afternoon, stopped in for a quick hair cut for Mono and headed over to their house. We enjoyed the afternoon with them and then spent the evening with my aunt, uncle and cousins. They had a really lovely dinner to celebrate Mother's Day and then afterwards a nice cake for me, as well as wonderful gifts for our boys.

They were not going to be able to make my baby shower, so they wanted to have a little something at their house before we headed on our way up North early this week.

So Saturday was great.

Now we jump on over to Sunday, Mother's Day, my first Mother's Day.

We enjoyed a leisurely morning and then met up with my aunt, uncle and cousins again for a nice brunch. We had such a great time and the food was yummy. On our way home I was so tired so I told everyone I was going to take it easy and take a nap when we got home, before we had to head back out, to Church.

I didn't get much of a nap in, but at least I got some rest.

Rest is always good!

We went to Mass together and then went back to my parents house for a little more visiting and to pick up Jimmy.

We had everything loaded in the car, including Jimmy, and we were saying our good byes, when my Mother's Day turned into one giant scare.

To cut out some of the details, I ended up having to be brought to the hospital right away. I was having some symptoms/problems that were bad signs this early in my pregnancy. My Mom called the emergency phone line for my doctor and they wanted to see me immediately.

Only problem... we were an hour away and there was torrential rain outside.

Jimmy went back into my Mom and Dad's house; Mono and I headed on our way for the hospital; my parents got their things and jumped in their car to follow us down there.

We arrived at the hospital and I was put in a room and hooked up to all sorts of monitors.

My first thought from the very beginning was something was wrong with at least one of the boys. I just kept praying to The Blessed Mother to help my body be strong for them and for them to be healthy. I did not want to be spending my first Mother's Day in tears. There were a lot of those, but I just tried to stay calm and pray. The prayers were my lifesaver. 

While laying there in the hospital bed, all hooked up, I sat there with complete fright and unknown. 

How bad was the situtaion?

Are both boys okay?

Is one of them in danger?

What is going wrong?

There were so many questions flying through my mind.

The nurse came in to see if she could hear their heart beats. With the machine she was using at first, I knew the chances were slim to none for hearing both boys hearts beating. Just as I had anticipated, only one was heard. 

Even though I knew that this was not an accurate test, I had a flood of even more tears and fear wash over me. My prayers continued, but it did not alleviate all the pain (mental) I was in. I was left laying there, now having to wait hours for the next machine to be used, to know if in fact there really was a second heart beat.

The time between both tests was excruciating. Mono and my parents were all with me in the room, just trying to keep me calm and distracted. I know they were all feeling the same feelings I was, but they all remained amazingly strong for me. I am so grateful for that. 

Late that night, the ultrasound machine finally arrived!

I had never been happier nor more scared to see that machine in my life!

I was happy to have it finally in my room so I could know how both of my sweet boys were doing, but at the very same time, I didn't know if I wanted to know yet... just in case signs were not for the best.

I told the sweet lady doing my ultrasound that I couldn't look. And she asked why, and I said I didn't want to know anything until I knew there were two heartbeats. She immediately calmed my fears and smiled and said, "Oh they are both here, beating very strong!" I just started crying and thanking God for His goodness! I joked with everyone that I was very happy to see the boys on Mother's Day, but I was not happy that they chose to do it this way. I would have been fine waiting to celebrate Mother's Day with them next year, worry free, hospital free. 

For the next fifteen minutes maybe (the time could be way off), we all sat there getting amazing glimpses of the two little trouble makers.

One of them was even opening and closing his hand, like he was waving to us! They were more than adorable and at that moment, I was ever so thankful to be a mom.

Then a short while later I was moved to my room I'd be staying in over night and for the rest of the stay. My parents made sure I was settled in there and then they headed home for their hour drive home. They got home early the next morning. And thankfully, Mono stayed with me. He got some things out of the car, that we thankfully already had with us from the visit to my parents, and he ran out for some dinner for himself. It was so nice to have him there with me and know our boys were okay. I couldn't sleep well that night with the monitors on and the constant check-ins from the nurses, but the boys were okay and Mono was with me so I had no other cares in the world.

That day showed me the strength I'd need, the graces and prayers I'd need, to be a mom.

It reminded me how precious the gift of life really is.

And it surely made me even more excited for them to arrive, safe and healthy in my arms.

(my Mother's Day gift from my Mono)

Okay, so that was Sunday. I was in the hospital until late on Monday and then I finally came home... on bed rest. I went back for a follow up check up on Thursday and they are keeping me on bed rest until further notice... which means, no trip to New York for my baby shower and no long beach vacation in Florida.... leading to my down mood.

(going home)

Between morning sickness and bed rest, I have spent a lot of time on this couch of mine. Both trips were getting me crazy excited! I couldn't wait to be in New York, seeing most of our family and friends, celebrating the boys. We were also going to spend some time in the city with my brother and sister-in-law, and Mami, which would have been a ton of fun. I had it all planned out in my mind and really had no thoughts that anything would hinder us from going. And the trip to the beach, ahhhhh, I was anticipating every single thing about it! I thought the days of complete relaxation and enjoyment would do me good. I was also going to make a stop in the Disney area to enjoy a birthday dinner with my sweet friend...
And to add to the list, Mami was going to be visiting soon and we were planning on some fun things, even day trips, but now we are just going to be able to sit on the couch and lay low. Any visit with her is great, but this time, I wish we could have done more. Gotten out a bit.
With all of that not happening, the worries of making sure I take it easy for the boys, and just being stuck on the couch all together has gotten me rather down lately. 

I had a really hard time yesterday and today dealing with the fact that I was laying on the couch and not with everyone I was looking forward to seeing. I tried my hardest today to not think about it too much and found little things to brighten my day. It didn't work great, but I had to try. I sat outside and got fresh air a few times. I painted a fresh coat of polish on my nails. Things like that. I could have done better, but hey, I'm still learning!

I have to learn more how to turn on that switch like Papi says and work at my mood; not letting it take over completely.

Love Your Jeans!

I was standing facing the counter, with my envelopes and packages in hand, waiting my turn to mail them, when I heard, "Ohhh, I love your jeans! Where did you get them?"

To that, I turned my head around to see the face to match the voice who just asked me that question. In front of me was the most petite, polished little lady.

And then, that is when I smiled and fully turned my body around... exposing that those jeans she loved, were in fact, very much a pair of none other than maternity jeans.

I smiled as I said, "Well, they're maternity jeans from the Gap. They are very comfortable though!"

It was quite the amusing exchange for me.

Here this petite pretty lady was asking me, the ever-growing momma-to-be about my jeans!

I wanted to be asking her about her cute clothes!

That was the start of my day yesterday and it kept a smile on my face just thinking about how funny it was. The rest of the day following was great, but really busy, so this certainly helped. The littlest things keep me happy!

The bump is a growin'!

 So, tomorrow marks 21 weeks for these two little growing boys! They certainly are growing! I am amazed at how fast time has passed! I have a lot going on now through the first week of June, so that is going to be here and gone before I know it. Then I have June, July and some or all of August, depending on how early the boys make their grand entrance.

Still no cravings. I guess that is a good thing so I don't over indulge in anything.

I've gained 13 pounds, but it seems like the majority of it is in my stomach, thankfully.

As I mentioned once before, my family has a baby pool going and since certain people think I am going to gain a ton of weight, they are always encouraging me to enjoy bowls of ice cream, candy, cookies... fattening foods. So far, the things I enjoy eating in larger quantities have been nectarines (that phase has passed for now) and tomatoes (that is currently going on). Not such fattening choices. Unfortunate for the people who guessed very high weight gain on my end. I still have a ways to go so I am sure I will be gaining a bit more!

I've been feeling these little twitching feelings the past couple weeks. I didn't know if it was muscles or whatever inside twitching as I grow or in fact it was the boys moving around. Last night, I was laying in bed, feeling these twitches a bit more frequent and strong so I put my hand on my stomach to see if it could be felt on the outside too. I called Mono into the room to have him see if it was just me feeling it or if he could as well. Not only can he feel it, but if I lay still, you can actually see the movement too. 

I have to admit, while it is exciting, it makes me nervous. I can't tell if it is one of the babies or both that are moving around. I hope I can clearly feel two moving around so I don't panic.

I'm still really tired and don't have much energy, but I have to just push myself to get things done. And of course, I still have pregnant brain, which seems to cause the most problems for me. I hate not thinking clearly.

Oh, and heart burn. We've become good friends... no, not really. It just likes to be with me a lot more than I like to be with it. Thankfully it's not absolutely awful yet though.

So, there you have it! My recent pregnancy updates along with two pictures.

Oh and note that the V and I I am doing with my fingers is for 2 and 1 - twenty one weeks, not pounds!