Thursday, April 10, 2014

exhaustion

I've recently said to the Hubs that I think mommas should be allowed to get tired, but not exhausted... or cranky, for that matter. The boys have decided naps are pretty much a thing of the past and are very overrated. They sometimes take one long nap (1 hr), but for the most part, they are power naps, and boy do they fill them with more power! They have a really fluctuating wake up schedule in the morning too. I wish it was more consistent so I could plan my strategy a bit more, but I guess it is part of their strategy to keep me on my toes a bit more! Yesterday was a long, difficult day in our house. At about 2/2:30 I felt like I just couldn't keep going and had to close my eyes, but being that I had two loose toddlers, that wasn't happening. I let them watch a little extra tv to keep them quiet, but that doesn't last long. I was desperate. The day progressed and I just kept pushing along. Once bedtime (for me) came, I just kept thinking and praying that they would sleep, and a little later. I just needed one night of a good night's rest without a crazy early wake up.

And, what do you think happened? My wake up came earlier than even before, 12:30. I heard my little man, who happens to be sick, crying. I had no idea what time it is, but I knew I hadn't been asleep for long. I woke up the Hubs, which is not an easy thing to do, and asked him if he could just go get him back to sleep for me. He kindly dragged himself out of the bed and went to check on our little man. It wasn't long before I heard little man numero dos start crying and that is when I felt like crying. This couldn't be happening. Shortly after I heard quiet and I was thanking the Good Lord!! Aaahhh, a peaceful night's rest ahead of me? Nope. Before I knew it, I was sleeping with three cute guys... make that four. The dog was in the bed too. The reason for that quiet was they were in their Papi's arms on their way to see Momma. I just didn't have any energy in me to get them back to sleep in their own beds. I didn't care that shortly later I would end up with my head resting on my nightstand, my hips balancing on the doggie steps and my feet and calves hanging onto the bed for dear life. I just cared that there were no screaming tears (from them or me) and we would soon be sleeping... hoping again for a peaceful night's rest.

Scratch that thought. I was up constantly with one boy or the other. At one point our little worm of a sleeper was at the bottom of our bed half on the bed, half on the bench. I heard little mouse squeaks coming from a place that shouldn't have been and that's when I saw him there, wide awake. I don't know if he squirmed down there or he was trying to get off the bed. Either way, I brought him back for more cuddles, to then find the dog sprawled out on the pillow my little man and I were sharing. I thought that it was never going to end. Once one boy got settled, the next would start up with something.

And then finally, after catching some winks with my head resting on my nightstand, my hips balancing on the doggie steps and my feet and calves hanging onto the bed for dear life, we had an early wake up call at 5 something with one little guy having a night terror that I couldn't seem to stop forever and another little guy who woke startled by the screams. At about ten to six, the three of us headed out to start the day.

Even though I am even more exhausted today than I was yesterday, I know God will some how give me the grace and strength to go on. I don't understand His ways sometimes. It wouldn't be that hard to let me get a little rest, but I guess He has other ideas. I'm hoping I can be strong and joyful throughout this day and not fall asleep in some corner, praying no body sees me.

Do you have any tips for more energy, getting your littles and yourself more sleep, or any help for this exhausted momma? If they'd watch tv for hours straight, I'd be tempted to just put something on so I could catch a rest, but they are too active for that.

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