Thursday, September 27, 2012

The Gift of Patience

When the boys were born, so was a bit more patience.
I am not the most patient person in the world. I wish I was. It definitely a weakness I try to work on.
I had a hard time recovering after my c-section. The actual c-section was a breeze and I'd totally do it again, but my incision burst and I was also on blood thinners so I had some crazy annoying complications. I was in the hospital, in and out a few times after the boys went home. It was so painful to be missing those first days with my boys. I knew they were in great care, but I couldn't handle not being with them. I waited nine months for them and they were finally here, but I couldn't be with them. Needless to say, I was quite impatient in the hospital (interiorly) waiting to be able to be home for good.

Aside from that though, God definitely graced me with more patience since they were born. And boy, I wouldn't be able to do this without it. Having two babies at once, the first time around, is a lot of work. They are the greatest gift and the biggest joy, but that doesn't lessen the amount of time and work. Will is a rather calm and content baby, but Gus is a little demanding. He needs to be cared for a bit more. I have him laying on my lap, and am rocking him back and forth with my legs. I have had to get paper work done, phone calls made... and yes, this blog post up! I need my hands. The problem is, Will also cries at the same time sometimes and I need to comfort both babies, with only two hands. It's so difficult, especially when I still can't carry much weight or wear our baby carrier because of my incision/wound vac.

Night time is hard and that is when I lose my patience at times. I think I have done pretty well with it, but sometimes, after a really long day alone and then a long, sleepless night, I get tired. It is amazing though because when you feel like you just can't do it any more in the middle of the night, when you wake up the next morning, you forget it all and are able to start again... despite being exhausted.

I am so grateful for the gift of a little extra patience. It certainly doesn't mean I never lose my patience, because I do. But this extra bit helps me cope better with this new and wonderful adjustment! 

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