Saturday, November 13, 2010

Mary Anne Vs. The World

Do you ever feel like it's you against the world?
Where nothing seems to be going right?
Your patience level is near zilch.
Everyone seems to be bothered by you...and you seem to be bothered by everyone.
Where your prayers seem to be going up dry and empty?
Where you have no idea what God is trying to tell you?
And all you feel is God trying to teach you something and work and mold you into something?
It's just pure pain and frustration, waiting for God to show you where He wants you to be.
So many little things just seem to go wrong... then make you cranky.
The confusion, the frustration, the feeling of God constantly kneading you.
I don't need to be fabulous
I just want to know what little I am doing, is being done well....with love and virtue.
I am going through a weird period in life.
I just want to just clean out and start over, inside and on the outside.
Have you ever gone through a period in your life where you feel God is molding you and working with you, but you just can't seem to see the end yet?
I know the person I want to be, but I don't quite know how to get there. 
I can't seem to get there.
My creative juices are running so dry and that really disappoints me.
I've always been a more upbeat and creative person, so to see these things running dry, is kinda hard to deal with.
  Even while going through this, I'm not a miserable person.
I'm happy, though have some cranky days, and know that with times like this, you just have to keep going.
God hasn't left you alone.
In fact, now He is probably ever so close.
He is working closely, picking away at all my little issues.
I think He is probably a little frazzled with me that I haven't learned the lessons He has been trying to teach me yet. ;) 
I think in this area, I am a little bit of a slow learner... kinda like in algebra. 
I was certainly a slow learner in that subject.
Maybe He could try teaching me in a way like I got geometry.
That made a lot more sense and I picked it up real fast! ;)
Lord, please continue to mold me into the person You desire me to be.
Help me learn the lessons You are trying to get me to see.

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