comparison

Sometimes I find myself having caught that bug. Do ya'll ever catch the comparison bug? I try to stay as immune to it as possible, but I have yet to find a complete cure. If any of you have found a trusty remedy, please send it my way!

I have a tremendously blessed life. I should not let a day go by where I find myself comparing my life to another woman's. But, sadly, I do. I dream of certain lifestyles, some within reason, and others way out of my league. Some, with a few doable changes, are possible, while the rest will forever remain a dream. And that's okay. 

I love all things interior design. I live in a lovely home, furnished and full of love. It is not my dream home, but it is just right for our family and it allows the hubs to have a ridiculously short commute to a job he (and I) loves. I am not sure who likes that perk more, more or him! We live in a safe neighborhood with a yard for the boys to play and areas for pretty gardens and swing set. All in all, we are very fortunate. While decorating our home, I had to stay within a budget and use pieces we already had or were given to us. They may not have been perfect in every aspect, but we have made it work out well. 

It's still a work in progress and our home doesn't completely feel me yet, nor finished. With this being said, when I am on Pinterest or see posts on other social media sites, I long to at least turn out lovely, but not dream home, more of a dream, more us. Recently someone posted on a site about their new home, a first home, and it is one that will never even be attainable for our family. So while looking at this starter home for this very young couple, made me look at my home and wish I had the ability to improve its own dreaminess. 

Another thing that I let eat me up at times is all the perfect-looking bodies, perfectly done hair and makeup, always looking perfectly out together women. As a Catholic/Christian, I try to hold my moral standards of modesty high, yet remain stylish. Ya'll, let me tell you, it.is.hard. I see so many adorable patterns on bathing suits, shorts in cute colors, skirts and dresses in lovely prints, yet I refrain from buying them. As a lady, I don't think it is necessary or right to show so much skin. Even some of the best girls from great Catholic families I know do not keep modesty above their fashion. Now, I am not saying we have to cover every inch of skin or look frumpy! I do give myself guidelines to keep to, that always sit higher than guidelines of what is fashionable. I have had to make some very hard choices, passing up the cutest of items. Then I see other girls who supposedly share my beliefs and let everything be seen. I'm not telling you my guidelines are right, or that I am spot on in my way of thinking, but it is on my heart lately. Maybe because it is hot outside and more prevalent, but it is a personal issue on my mind. So, sometimes when I see someone in a really cute outfit, I get frustrated that I have the standards I do.

F.Y.I. my personal guidelines are: 

- no super tight pants (or really any garment)

- I keep my skirts to knee length (to hit my knee cap)

- shorts, I go for ones closer to my knee. Mine around a 9" inseam for my height

- no strapless shirts or dresses

-no deep v-necks or super low cut shirts

- and then to church, no shorts and no sleeveless shirts

I could change my lifestyle, but then I stop and see where God placed me and what He placed in my heart, the house He blessed our family with and the grace He has given me to be strong against the temptations to let my standards fall.

I have an artistic eye and a love for creating, yet some how I don't have much time these days to be creative. All the creative juices are drying up inside and I see others, married, mothers, single women, letting their creativity fly! And I envy it. When I have the time, I am too tired to think creatively, thus unfinished scrapbooks, photography notes and lessons just sitting around, a slacking blog, no freshly painted canvases... And I then find myself sitting on the couch at night wondering how so many women have it all together are so creative!

This follows my last thought... As a wife and mom, I compare myself a lot! She has freshly made, healthy and delicious meals on the dinner table at least 5 of the 7 nights. She is so put together all the time! She is so pleasant and sweet. It goes on and on. And I get into a minor pity party at times with myself wondering why not only am I not well dressed, but it is 2 pm and I am still in my sweats and my to do list has increased instead of decreased. But then I have to stop and look at my circumstances vs. whoever I am comparing myself to. I may be looking at a 40 something year old blogger with relatively grown kids or a young newly married wide with no children. None of them are experiencing my life exactly as it is. They don't have babies right now. They've never had twins... our lives are different.

This goes for all of the above. She may have the great body and is all done up because she is single or her children are grown. Her life may revolve around her, rather than her two babies. She can go out for a run and run as many miles as she would like, she can run to the gym whenever desired. She doesn't have to wake up uber early to fit in a workout or a shower or work around nap schedules. She may have 2 hours to spend on getting ready, while I am lucky to have 2 minutes. She may have a larger spending budget for her clothes and home, but does her husband have an awesome work environment, great perks, and a 2 minute commute on days with heavy traffic? She may live in the nicest house on the street (or heck, in the entire state!), but I don't know what her home life truly is. You see what I mean. I may dream about other aspects of people's lives, I may suffer bouts of the grass is always greener, but I wouldn't trade my life for the nicest house, best wardrobe, flat stomach and toned legs, nothing. nothing. 

I have to thank God for what He has given me for this moment in my life. And despite moments of struggle like today, I live life with a grateful heart for what I have been blessed with. 

Comparison, whether it be a home, clothes, lifestyle, vacation, body type, hair color, whatever it may be, can be a beast and totally deadly to your happiness. Today, while having been bit by the ugly bug of comparison, I am finding the good, the joy, and the things I can change! Don't let comparing your beautiful self/life get the best of you!